


Golden

by the_sky_is_forever



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Other, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:25:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sky_is_forever/pseuds/the_sky_is_forever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a while since Enjolras walked out Grantaire's door and didn't come back, but that doesn't mean that when Enjolras doesn't show up at Grantaire's art exhibition it doesn't hurt.<br/>Based on the song "Clairvoyant" by The Story So Far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Golden

This is your life there's no way to run from it

The doubt in your brain or the pain in your stomach

I only have but one complaint at the moment:

Don't paint me black when I used to be golden

 

_Clairvoyant, The Story So Far_

 

There was a time where Grantaire wouldn’t have dared commented on it. Maybe a pleading glance to Combeferre or Courfeyrac as if to say, “tell me he’ll be here”, but now – _now_ – they’ll say something.

They look around at all their friends, thrilled that they’re here, but there’s one missing. Things have been rough between the two of them since they broke up, but Grantaire had thought- it doesn’t matter what they thought.

“He’s not coming, is he?” they ask the group, voice monotonous and without inflection.

A few of them shake their heads, sadly.

“No,” Combeferre says, softly.

Grantaire nods, once, and then they fix their smile and carry on – because that’s what they do. Since Enjolras left, that’s what they do.

The last fight had been bad, no one can deny that, but when Enjolras stormed out, for at least two days Grantaire had thought he’d come back. After that, they gave up hope. They didn’t see Enjolras for weeks after that fight.

When Enjolras finally did come back, it was only to tell Grantaire that they were over and to collect the things that he’d kept at Grantaire’s.

These days it’s a miracle if Enjolras will stay in the same room as Grantaire.

Grantaire doesn’t know how to fix it. Grantaire doesn’t know if it can be fixed. Or if it _should_ be fixed, for that matter.

He is a little upset that Enjolras hasn’t showed up to the exhibition, though. Before they were friends, when Grantaire was hopelessly and helplessly in love with Enjolras, he never came to Grantaire's art shows. At the time, Grantaire thought it was because Enjolras hated them. Sometime between their friendship starting, and their romance starting, Enjolras came to his first exhibit - and then he never stopped. The first time they’d kissed had been at one of Grantaire’s exhibitions.

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t showed.

Grantaire leads their friends around the gallery, talking away about the paintings, and trying not to think about how the last time they’d done this, they’d had their arm around Enjolras, and the way Enjolras had sincerely tried to ask questions about a subject which he clearly knew nothing about.

Jehan gives them a kiss on the cheek when they reach the end of the exhibition, telling them that xe wishes Enjolras had shown. Apparently xe had done xyr best to get him to come, but to no avail.

Grantaire gives xem a smile that they think looks convincing enough, and says that it’s more than enough that they are all here.

*

Enjolras sneaks into the show late; sure that Grantaire won’t want him here. He knows that Grantaire will be with the others and he hopes he’s late enough that Grantaire has either left or is not actually near their exhibit.

Slowly, he works his way around the pieces, eyes lingering on the paintings of their friends.

The last time he was at one of Grantaire’s shows it was completely different – then he’d had Grantaire’s arm around his waist, and his partner’s exited chattering in his ear as they explained all the works, patient with Enjolras’ lack of artistic nature.

Now he walks alone, missing Grantaire, and he stares at the paintings, working his way along slowly and in silence. He doesn’t get to hear about how this one was a complete bitch to get right with the lighting, or how that one was purely inspired by that time Jehan wore that ridiculous yellow raincoat in summer.

The gallery seems dead, though it isn’t, because Grantaire’s voice isn’t there beside him.

Finally he comes across on that makes him stop dead.

He stares, and stares, and stares.

It’s him. It’s Enjolras. Done entirely in blacks, greys, and whites.

He blinks at the painting, his mouth hanging slightly open.

While the painting is striking – it is the only one in the gallery done without colour – it weighs heavily in Enjolras’ stomach.

A familiar cough sounds from behind him, but Enjolras doesn’t turn. He can’t tear his eyes away from the painting.

Grantaire puts their hand on Enjolras’ shoulder, and finally Enjolras turns to look at them.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Grantaire says.

“I didn’t think you wanted me to,” Enjolras replies.

They stare at each other for a long moment, before Grantaire sighs. “You’re the one that left, Enjolras,” they say.

Enjolras nods, not knowing what to say to that – because it’s true. He left. It wasn’t Grantaire’s choice. Enjolras is the one who walked out the door and didn’t come back.

His mouth feels dry and he turns back to look at the painting again, because he can’t look at Grantaire anymore. He can feel their presence beside him though.

“You used to paint me in gold,” Enjolras says at last.

“You used to be golden,” is all Grantaire says in response. Enjolras doesn’t dare ask what that means. He thinks he might know anyway.

Enjolras takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“I know,” Grantaire replies.

“Really.”

“Yeah, I get it, Enjolras.”

Enjolras bites his lips and resists looking at Grantaire. He can feel tears starting to prick his eyes and he absolutely does not want to cry right now. He sniffs.

Then he feels Grantaire turn towards him, and hears the shock in their voice when they say, “Fuck, are you _crying_?”

“No,” Enjolras lies, and lifts a hand to wipe under his eyes, completely giving away what was already obvious.

“Enjolras,” Grantaire says, a sigh in their voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Enjolras says, “I left you,” and then he starts to walk away because he really can’t stay here any longer.

“Yeah you did,” Grantaire says, and Enjolras doesn’t reply.

He’s out the door and onto the cold street before he can change his mind and do something stupid like kiss them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Considering continuing this? If that's something you want let me know.  
> Other than that, I'm sorry for the angstyness of this - my current chaptered fic is giving me a hard time and this was just a little something to do while I thought about it.  
> Also I really love the song Clairvoyant, please listen to it all because it is very Enjolras/Grantaire post-breakup.
> 
> I have a writing blog: theskyis-forever come say hi and leave a prompt :)  
> Also, if you enjoyed this: [buy me a coffee?](http://ko-fi.com/A831F9U)


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